It Takes My Pain Away
by Bree-2006
Summary: Baralai can't get over the fact that he's fallen in love with one of his former crimson squad members, what will he do when he can't show her how he feels? songfic to Pain by Jimmy eat world


**Takes My Pain Away**

**By: Bree-2006**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything...not even at home.**

**(AN: This is not a good fic if you don't like tragedy! Sorry if it angers you but u have been warned!**

**Also I just heard that Squaresoft MIGHT (key-word MIGHT) be creating a X-3! Supposedly entitled 'Rikku's Story' lets just hope this is true! If you are strongly for an ffx-3 there is a petition going around asking for signatures. ) thank you my wonderful reviewers!)

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**I don't feel the way I've ever felt.  
I know.  
I'm gonna smile and not get worried.  
I try but it shows.**

Sixteen...that was the age she was when we first met. "Just a kid" I thought. Too young for a serious relationship, too old for a crush. Sweet sixteen, even though at the time she was anything but sweet. She was so young, and I was just two years older. I just thought she was just a kid, wrapped up in a world of craziness and lies. It was the time of sin, when no one believed in an eternal calm.

Of course being the teenage boy I was, I asked her out. She -with some reluctance- said yes and from that point on we were inseparable - well except around the guys. The night we were shot and we both lied in the hospital room I told her we couldn't see each other any more. I lied to her saying that _'she just wasn't girlfriend material'_ all while she fought for her life in the bed next to mine.

As she left the hospital I knew we were never going to see each other again. I shrugged it off as being '_Innocent puppy love' _and tried to move on- one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

When I thought for sure that I could live without her I heard that there was a group of girls lead by the High Summoner sneaking into the Bevelle underground, being the head of Yevon I went to investigate.

I saw her again, after all these years. I didn't know what had happened to her, it was as if she fell off the face of Spira. She still looked the same, with the exception of her eyes being darker. She acted as if we were strangers, as if I had never fought by her side. No longer friends, just acquaintances. I didn't think she would have tried to hide our past like that.

Instead of fighting beside her, I was fighting with her. Of course I was upset about her challenging me, but when she won, I was unusually happy.

Then Shuyin came, making her even more distant from me than before. Causing me to hurt the people she loved most, mainly Lady Yuna, and Lady Rikku. I know they were planning on killing me, striking me dead because I was useless to them. It didn't help that I was now a Maester of Yevon. A leader of something that hid too many secrets and caused too much trouble. We were the cause of all the destruction, but I was too caught up in my pride to see the truth. Lady Yuna and her friends saved me, sparing me from Shuyin's wrath, and I went back to my job as being the Maester, once again leading Spira into trouble.

Why am I here if all I do is screw up this world? Why do they allow me to continue damning us all to a life not worth living? Anyone could have made these mistakes right?

**Anyone can make what I have built.  
And better now  
Anyone can find the same white pills.  
It takes my pain away.**

Its not that I'm worried about, I guess I'm more worried about what she thinks of me now. I dream of her at night, think about her during the day, nothing I haven't done before. I know I've fallen in love with her all over again, but every time I picture us together, or dream of telling her how I feel, she's turning me down.

**It's a lie. A kiss with opened eyes.  
And she's not breathing back.  
Anything but bother me.  
It takes my pain away  
Nevermind these are horrid times.  
I can't let it bother me.**

No more dwelling on the things that can never happen, all I can think of now, is how to end it all. I reach into my desk drawer and pull out one of my many guns. Placing a single bullet inside I set it down on my desk.

Grabbing a pen and piece of paper I write these simple words.

Paine,

I never thought I'd walk away from you.  
I did.  
But it's a false sense of accomplishment.  
Every time I quit

anyone can see my every flaw.  
It isn't hard.  
Anyone can say they're above this all.  
It takes my pain away.

**It's a lie. A kiss with opened eyes.  
And she's not breathing back.  
Anything but bother me.  
It takes my pain away  
Nevermind these are horrid times.  
I can't let it bother me**

'I cant let it bother me' I replay those words a thousand times in my head, but I know I've made up my mind

**I can't let it bother me.**

I place the letter into an envelope and set it down on my desk. Picking the gun beside it I place it to my temple.

**It's a lie. A kiss with opened eyes.  
And she's not breathing back.  
Anything but bother me.  
It takes my pain away  
Nevermind these are horrid times.  
I can't let it bother me.**

'Paine, you take my pain away'

I pull the trigger...her being the last thing I think about.

**It takes my pain away.

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**AN: don't hate me! I'm sorry if that upsets you I couldn't help it! This was a one shot so there is no more, and if you want to know how Paine felt...use your imagination! **

**-thanx for the reviews!**


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